Sunday, June 20, 2010

Shrooms. Church. Him

The first part of my dream is unimportant, so I just won't tell it. Well, I will, but vaguely.

I was sitting in the living with Serena, Mom, and a bag of mushrooms. I had a syringe and microscope. I wanted to know what the stuff inside a mushroom looked like. So, I extracted the liquid inside. I used the liquid from every single one, chopped them up, and made a salad.

Here is when I woke up and texted Keven back. Then I went back to sleep.

When the dream began again, I was with girls I didn't know who obviously had an addiction. The bowl of salad was in my arms and I was walking into my church's dining hall. A potluck, as custom for my church, was in midswing. Except, it was full of people my age that I knew. The girls sat across from me and I chatted easily with them.
Then he say down next to me and said hello. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't anxious. This was normal to me now. We exchanged words carelessly and I brought up the salad I had made and things it contained. Suddenly, the girls were very excited and were asking me to get them some.
I did, with him at my side the whole time. When I turned to hand them their bowls, they disappeared from my hands. Instead, his were placed against mine just as they had been when we were friends. It was all so long ago...
His skin was darker and softer. His fingers were longer, his hair too. All were to be expected with the time passed and the summertime. There was nothing in the touch, but he became uneasy when our skin touched and he pulled away quickly. He ran.
When I turned around, Samantha was standing there. She wore her hair up and her pink Gettysburg shirt.
"It's okay to be friends, Kayla."
"It isn't. It's not what I want."
"You spoke to him."
"He spoke to me first."

Then I woke up.
Fantastic.
Two dreams about him in a week.
Both feature me speaking to him.
It's not what I want.
It will never be what I want.




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