Honesty.

Here comes the honesty I know you wanted yesterday when I told you I was proud of you.
I was proud because you'd made the decision to quit, to get your life on track, and to be drugfree.
What are you doing tonight?
"Well, Dylen's in town. I might smoke."
Obviously you did, because you became very boring very suddenly.
You're different when you're high. Did you know that?
I just told you bye because I'm truly disappointed in you.
I shouldn't be. I should have expected this.
As of yesterday you had "quit". Yeah. All right. What a joke.
I'm not even sure I want to talk about the sweet part of our conversation today.
Since, you know, we always have one of those.
Hell, I'll talk about it...

We had been talking about how I call Khania when I'm upset and after he said "awhh" I said:
"You just wish I would call you when I need to feel better(;"
"I dooo"
"Thanks for playing along."
"Maybe i was being serious?"
"Were you being serious?"
"possiblyy"
"I'm pretty sure that was a yes or no question, Mr. Tingle."
"You choose"
"Hmmmm. I'd prefer it if you simply told me..."
"I cant be that simple :)"
"And why can't you?"
"Im a DeBeck, its in my blood"
"But you can't be simple just this once?"
"You can call me whenever you want, i'll just put it like that"

It literally means nothing to me right now.
You know why I hate you while you're high?
Because I'm not good with conversation, but somehow I am with you.
Except when you're high. Everything is "lol" and "okay" and "haha" when you're high.
What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I never know.
I retract my pride. I retract my happiness- even though you told me that my happiness makes you happy.
Let's be honest: I'm a little bit mad at you right now...
Have fun tonight with Dylen and that girl that keeps trying to get with you.


Too bad I'd never tell you any of this.
I mean, really, you think I'm a good person.
I still find that appalling, just so you know...