Another Day, Another Dream

I find myself dreaming of you more, and of them less. They're beginning to fade from my subconscious much as they've already done from my conscious mind. Today, before I was awakened my the sound of the screaming that seems to have placed itself in my house, I dreamt of speaking to you, hugging you, being your friend. A long time process stopped and now reoccuring in my dreams. Could you be the one that I'm supposed to confide in? Am I supposed to conform myself to fit your standards?
Or is my imagination toying with me, trying to change the person I've grown to be?
I may never know, but for now I will speak of my dream, but I won't mention your name or even your appearance. No one will know that I've dreamt of speaking to you once more, they would fret and ask questions. You will never know that it was you I think of.

Running down the halls of a school we once attended, laughing, smiling as though nothing ever went wrong. I suppose nothing had gone wrong then. Our biggest worry was often if we'd forgotten our homework in class. Such a simple world, one I quite often miss. It was back when the biggest drama was calling Megan Pater a name in a note left on her desk by neither one of us.
The feet pounding on the clean tile of the wide halls slowed, classrooms were quickly appearing on either side. We couldn't get caught, not today. Today was important.
We were older, but still here. Why come back to a place you didn't belong anymore? The mystery was always fun.
You turned to me, your chin tilted up slightly. Shorter than me, like most people. Your eyes danced with joy, something I hadn't seen in years. True happiness radiated from your skin. No one could fake that. No one could fake this. The smile you showed lit up your face. "We're not going to be the same after this," you said. Oh how I'd missed your voice.
"I know," I smiled. "I'm okay with that."
You took my hand and we were running again, out the front doors of the building. A few buses loomed ahead but their weren't bags on our backs. I knew school had been long over, but we'd always stayed later that everyone else hadn't we? The feeling was good.
Racing up and down the sidewalk, you showed off moves that had been ingrained in your system since you were very young. "Try it, Kayla," you said.
I laughed. "You're kidding. I could never do that."
"Why not?" You tried another move, your tan hands grabbing the concrete and releasing again as you spun over, landing once more on your feet.
"I'd die."
"Just try."
"No."
"You always were so stubborn," you laughed, trying a handstand, your form perfect.
"Always will be," I answered.
"I suppose that's why we'll never be the same after today."
"The last day is always life changing," I whispered.
"Always," you said, your face blurring. Trying to grip onto what I once knew, I watched you fade. We had definitely fallen away from each other.


Must we always run in this circle? Will it ever become a simple line stretched out over our lives? Maybe running parallel to the one we normally live, giving the option of hopping over when we want a break from the reality that we're no longer friends? I'd hopped over a few times, only to be shoved back, a repetative cycle. One I secretly don't want to end, though my heart tells me it will.
I may pray that it will...