Stupid Dreams About Stupid Gorgeous People.

She stood shorter than me by about 4 inches, but her height suited her thin frame. Her thick rib-length dark hair fell around her in big, styled ringlets with bangs curled and just barely hanging at an angle over her almond shaped eyes. They were gray with a dark blue edging and flecks of darker grey all around the iris and highlighted by long lashes darkened with mascara. Olive toned skin highlighted her almost fragile heart-shaped face with its delicate cheekbones, perfectly sculpted nose, and rounded chin. Her lips were perfectly shaped around her straight, white teeth as she said my name.
"Kayla!" the musical voice entered my ears and it was like crystal, clear and beautiful. Her tone was happy, and a perfect smile lit her thin face as she went to hug me without hitting the child at her feet. "I've missed you..." she trailed on, even her sadness sounding stunning. Her face was buried in my neck as she hugged me and I could detect a faint accent that she'd probably had while she was a child.
"I've missed you too," I whispered even though something told me in the back of my mind I'd been away for a long time on purpose.
"He's missed you too, you know... He'll be so happy to see you..." She crouched down to the child at her feet. "Honey, this is Kayla. You might not remember her but she's your Godmother."
"I remember," the little girl's voice was childish, cute. I could tell she was nearly two, maybe older. Her milk chocolate hair hung to her ribs as well. It was mostly straight but it held a few curls too. She wore a black dress with a red ribbon tied in a bow around the middle to match the one that held her thin hair half up, but she wore no shoes.
She reached her little chubby arms up to me and I picked her up, clutching her desperately to my hip. She was so cute... Up close I could tell that she had her mother's eyes, with brown flecks instead of blue, a hint of who her father was. She had the same heart-shaped face too, but it was childishly chubby- possibly because of the hair framing it- and adorable. Her tiny, freckled nose was her father's as was her mouth. That much was for sure, but it was hard to tell who's teeth she had. When I tucked her hair behind one ear I took note that those too, belonged to her father. Her tan skin was beautiful, and she looked Italian maybe. She was almost too cute to be real. Almost.
"I missed you too, Kayduh," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. I smiled at her pronunciation of my name, I hadn't heard it in a while obviously.
"I missed you too baby.... I missed you too," I whispered, my voice sad and remorseful as I kissed the tip of her nose.
"Where did you go? Daddy asked about you when you didn't come to dinner when you were supposed to." My heart wrenched in my chest.
"I had to go. I'm sorry... I'm here now though. That's what matters."
"I guess. Will you come home with us?" she asked, her voice happy. She'd already forgotten that I'd left her.
"I don't think so, babe. I have to go back to my house..."
"But will you visit? Daddy misses you," she said, her head tilted with question. My heart wrenched again.
"We'll see," I whispered, trying not to cry. I knew I was breaking this child's heart. I also knew I wouldn't visit. "I have to go now," I said, and her eyes grew very sad. "I love you," I muttered as I hugged her tighter to me, a few tears escaping my eyes. "I'll think about you every day."
"Promise?" her eyes lit up with hope. Something told me this was an old tradition.
"Promise. Do you promise to remember in your dreams?"
"I promise," she said with confidence, making me smile through my tears. I leaned to put her down and crouched in front to hug her. She kissed my cheek where I could feel a tear had once been. "I've always kept my promise. I told Mommy we had to come here today. I dreamt we would see you."
My heart squeezed tighter in my chest more tears came, but I smiled. "I'm glad she listened."
I looked up at her mother, taking in her jeans and low-cut black shirt and then finally her face. "Bye," I said, standing and hugging her.
"You're not going to visit..." she whispered.
"You never know. Tell Charlie.... Tell..." I couldn't get it out. "Never mind... I love you, babe. I'll visit if I can bring myself too... I don't know if I can."
I didn't let her say another word. I walked away. Darkness surrounded me and I woke up staring into the white of my ceiling, "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick," echoing in my ears.