gross.

I can't even read anymore.
Please tell me you hate me.
That would make things better.

I love how no one updates their blogs anymore.
Because now I have no idea what's going on in their lives.
Less to worry about.

Charlie can't go to youth again.
He said he wouldnt be able to.
I bet his family will be "eating dinner".
That's always his excuse.

Oh.
I was right.
He and I didn't hang out today.
We never do when he says he wants to.
He's always lying to me.

Dakota is dizzy...
She's going to lay down.
I hope she doesn't fall...

Mom doesn't seem happy.
Probably because I asked her about youth.
I think she's hoping I'll forget about it.
And never ask to go again.

I feel strange.
And my nose is breaking out.
So much for perfect skin.

Jacob said I have a pretty smile today.
It made me smile. (:
Then I remembered I hate my smile.

My fingers are cold.
I ran them through my wet hair.
I wish it would dry already.
It makes me smell like Connor.
Stupid Head and Shoulders.

I need lotion.
If white people got ashy I'm pretty sure that's what I would be.
But they don't.
So that's not what I am.

Daddy was home early today.
Very early.
About an hour.
I didn't get to do what I wanted.

Mom's staring at me funny.
I should probably go.
Because now she's whining how she's tired.
She's trying to make me feel bad.
"I'm so stressed out," she says.
She should try being me.
She wouldn't last a day.

I kind of hope I have that dream again.
The one that makes me calm.
Only I don't want the normal person there...
I want someone different.
I need you to leave me alone...

Goodbye.