Youth Group

So, I don't suppose I'll be going to youth group on Thursdays anymore because apparently youth ends too late.

I got in the car to leave last night, smiling and prefectly okay with my life. I hadn't even been in the car two seconds before she started yelling. I only had time to glance at the clock before she began.
"You had to wait again didn't you?"
"I'VE BEEN HERE FOR TWENTY MINUTES! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE TO GET UP AT A QUARTER TO FOUR IN THE MORNING?! I HATE COMING TO GET YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! I'M SICK AND I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY!"
I hadn't even in the car for two minutes and she was already making me cry.
"I'm sorry... I guess I won't go anymore..." I said.
"If you go, you need to go in there and tell them that your mother is gonna be here at 8:30 because she has to get up at 4 in the morning."
"They can't control how long the preacher talks," I said, knowing full well that he had only gone ten minutes over.
"I dont care. I dont want to come get you."
"Then do you want me to see if some else's mom can start taking me home when they go?"
"No I don't want someone else to take you home."
"Why?"
"Because then I can't control what time you get in so I can go to sleep."
"Well, was Amanda home?"
"Yes. She didn't offer to come get you so I wasn't going to ask."
So basically you're yelling at me because you don't want me to practice religion and you don't want to ask someone who doesn't have to get up extremely early in the morning to get me, I thought.
"Then I just won't go!"
"No! I want you to go! I just don't want to come get you in the middle of the night!"
"I JUST WON'T GO!"
We didn't speak for the rest of the time and I kept thinking about our conversation on the way to the church nearly two hours earlier.
I had mentioned that I missed our preacher from our actual church, and she groaned and said, "I guess we'll just have to get up early and go to church on Sunday then, and I'll be sure to tell Barry that we came just to see him. And I'll have to make an appointment for you to have lunch on your birthday."
I blocked out the rest of what she was saying with my thoughts. It's not so much that I miss him, it's that I miss going to church on Sundays and learning about God.
"I'll have to start taking you every Sunday. I don't want to look like a bad mother."
That's the only reason you ever want to take me anywhere: you don't want to look like bad. It's always about you and how you look in others' eyes.

When we pulled into the driveway, I got out and went through the front door before she could even turn the car off. I immediately went to my sister's room and told her why I wouldn't be able to go to youth anymore. As I was finishing, my mother entered the house and screamed my name.
"Yes?" I asked miserably.
"CALM DOWN!" she shreiked and went to her room.
You're the one who's screaming, and I need to calm down?

So, I'm still trying to decide who the selfish one is: me or her? Me for wanting to go to youth every week to learn about God, meaning she has to go to bed late one day a week, or her for not wanting to take me because it means getting an hour less of sleep?